I'm too sexy for my Gundam PLUS
by Lady Lye
Summary: It all started with a lil karoke bar in the middle of nowhere and a couple of drinks... now we return to our roots with a special chapter! Trowa's solo of "I'm Too Sexy For My Gundam!" Trowa lovers, this one's for you! First in a series of solos, let's no
1. I'm too sexy for my Gundam...

I just had to write this. It's all my PE class's fault. We're doing dancing and we just learned a new dance... to the song in qts here. Running through my mind were these sexy boys singing this sexy song... *sigh*. So here's the next best thing.  
  
________________________  
  
No Said Wufei.  
  
"I'm too sexy"  
  
A song fic/parody by Lady Lye  
  
________________________  
  
Our scene: Duo has dragged the GW pilots into a karoke bar. They've just left some stupid school dance at Relena's school, and so they're all dressed up... sorta. They've loosened their ties and stuff. (AN:DROOL. I love that look...) Duo is impaitiently waiting his turn while some guy who can't sing flays the life out of "I will Survive". Luckily, there is alchohol here. The other pilots are seriously considering getting sloshed so they won't have to listen to Duo sing.  
  
"Why did you bring us here again, Duo?" Trowa sighed, looking at the little drinks menu on the table. Hmmm... that red one looked like it could take down an elephant... maybe it would also keep out the terrible voice they just KNEW Duo would have. Only people who couldn't sing liked karoke.   
  
"Because it's FUN," Duo exclaimed, trying to convince them and not succeeding at all. "And besides, I want to meet some chicks."  
  
"We have a mission, Maxwell," Wufei said angrily. He was trying to hide behind a plant- warriors did not make fools of themselves by singing oldies off-key in karoke bars.  
  
"Oh, lighten up, Wufei," Duo scolded. "It's all in the name of fun. And girls."  
  
"Because you're so likely to meet a bunch of girls HERE," Trowa gestured at the rather empty room.  
  
"Your terrible singing will scare them away, Maxwell," Wufei said to be mean.  
  
"That's mean, Wufei," Quatre said weakly. He was feeling kind of ill- he didn't like being on stage, but he knew he was weak enough that Duo would probably pull him up. He asked the waitress for something really strong to drink. Maybe it would calm his nerves. He downed it all and asked for another when she brought it.  
  
"I happen to have a lovely singing voice!" Duo exclaimed.   
  
"Um, of course you do," the three of them nodded and smiled.  
  
"When have you ever heard me sing, huh?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"How does this work again, Duo?" Heero was looking at a list of songs they could sing.  
  
"You pick a song and then they play a recording without the main vocals," Duo explained.  
  
"And they do this...?"  
  
"Oh, well you have to sing the lyrics," Duo said happily.  
  
"You're not seriously expecting US to do that, are you?" Heero stared at him in disbelief and horror.   
  
"Aw, it'll be fun!" Duo said slapping him heartily on the back, not quite answering the question.  
  
"Someone shoot that guy..." Quatre begged, putting his hands over his ears. The guy onstage was really lousy. He also seemed pretty drunk. The pilots looked longingly at the bar.  
  
BANG.  
  
"Thanks Heero!" Duo said cheerfully.  
  
"Anytime."  
  
Duo happily went up for his turn.   
  
"I wonder what he's going to sing," Trowa cringed.  
  
Duo spoke quickly with the guys running the place. The lights on the little platform darkened. Duo's whisper came from it.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my gundam, too sexy for my gundam,  
gundam's gonna kill 'em  
  
i'm too sexy for my braid, too sexy for my braid,  
so sexy it pays,"  
  
The lights had came up. Duo was up there singing. The GW pilots jaws DROPPED. He had mentioned gundam! They were doomed! He was a good singer! This song was cool! They were doomed!  
  
"I'm too sexy for my colony, too sexy for my colony,  
earth and the sun,"  
  
People started coming in from the streets- that guy WAS sexy!   
  
"Hey, where's Quatre?" Trowa looked around.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my money, too sexy for my money  
No way I'm going there-" Quatre had taken the mic. He was cute!  
  
Jaws on floor.   
  
"Aw, Hell," Heero and Trowa looked at each other. They called over the waitress and both downed big shot glasses.  
  
Duo and Quatre continued.  
  
"I'm a pilot, you know what I mean,  
And i do my little turn on the catwalk,  
Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah,  
I do my little turn on the catwalk."  
  
There was a REALLY big crowd now. Wufei was watching the stage in horror. Disgrace! Injustice! Lots and lots of girls were watching now. Wufei, too, turned to the waitress and ordered something strong.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my bangs, too sexy for my bangs," Trowa took the mic.  
"Too sexy to hang." Screams from the crowd... ooh he WAS sexy!  
  
"I'm too sexy for my gundam, too sexy for my gundam,  
gundam's gonna kill 'em,"  
  
They all sang this and the chorus, except Heero, who was hanging to the back. Not afraid, but waiting...  
He would have been nervous if he had seen Relena and her friends entering...  
  
"I'm a pilot, you know what I mean,  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk.  
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah,  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk."  
  
Heero came forth. The girls in the crowd started screaming. Now HE was sexy!  
  
"I'm too sexy for my- too sexy for my- too sexy for my-"   
he knew EXACTLY how to play this crowd. Big smile, that "Prince of the Star" twinkle in his eye... they were going wild.   
"Cos I'm a Pilot, you know what I mean," ooh, yes they did...  
"and I do my little turn on the catwalk,   
Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah,  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk," They were out of their minds with screaming now. Heero had slowly started to unbutton the top of his shirt and take off his tie. He was enjoying himself. (AN: don't worry... no stripping. Heero just knows how to work a crowd.)  
  
"I'm too sexy for my stalker, too sexy for my stalker,  
poor, poor, missy stalker..." (AN: I did mention he had been drinking? Maybe he HAS seen Relena...)  
"I'm too sexy for my gundam, too sexy for my gundam,  
gundam's gonna kill 'em"  
  
They all took the chorus.  
  
"Relena aren't those-?"  
  
"Heero..." love.  
  
Wufei came on stage. He, too, had been drinking. Alot in the last few minutes as he watched his fellow pilots disgrace themselves.   
  
"I'm too sexy for Nataku-"   
the song ended. Wufei pulled himself up short, sober again. "NO! I didn't mean that! No! Nataku!"  
  
Duo collapsed in laughter, then was nearly pulled apart by the frantic, hormonal crowd. "WOAH!" he pushed himself backward, sliding on the platform. "Ok, we can go now."  
  
The platform started to shake, and girls were reaching up to the five pilots. Wufei had fallen to his knees in disgrace. Heero, Trowa and Quatre backed up a bit, assessing the situation.  
  
"Hormonal girls,"  
  
"That's your fault, Heero! You set them off like that!" Duo accused.  
  
"Shaky platform,"  
  
"All exits blocked."  
  
"On three," Heero said. They nodded. Trowa picked up the wimpering Wufei. Duo stood and joined them. "One. Two..." The platform was rocking now.  
  
"Heero!" Relena tried to reach him through the crowd. He didn't hear her. Her scream mixed into the roar of the crowd.  
  
"Three!" They jumped up and latched onto the warehouse-style ceiling, Trowa swinging Wufei up, who hit his head, bringing him out of his self-blaming trance.  
  
"Ow! Dammit, Barton!"  
  
"Ooh, look! A real catwalk!" Duo laughed while they stood on the shaky thing.  
  
"Nevermind that- let's go!" Heero commanded. They ran along the catwalk and made it outside, jumping into the car they had come in. (belonging to Quatre, who else.).  
  
________________________  
  
The next day, at school.  
  
Relena kept an eye out for Heero and Quatre. She saw them standing in the shade of the building, both looking as though they were in pain. She went over to them. "Hi," she said casually,  
  
"Not so loud..." Quatre pleaded, clutching his head.  
  
"I have never had such a hangover when I could still remember exactly what happened the night before..." Heero muttered visciously. "I'll kill Duo."  
  
"I'll help."  
  
"If it helps, I thought you were all very sexy," Relena said, kissing them both on the cheek. She casually rejoined her friends.  
  
"Aw, shit."  
  
________________________  
  
I'm a pilot, you know what I mean,  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk.  
Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah,  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk.  
  
________________________  
  
  
  
Ok, I think there's some copyright crap in there... but that's ok cuz Right Said Fredd was a one-hit wonder.   
  
NOTE: I don't personally hate Relena, but I needed a joke. So sue me.   
  
Mmmm... sexy GW pilots...   
  
Want more? I have other song fics too... not all about sexy GW boys but hey...  
  
Love it? Hate it? Go ahead & just comment on how mentally deranged I am. But give me frikkin feedback!  
  
-Lady Lye 


	2. Trowa's Too Sexy (The first in a series ...

Lady: Oi

Lady: Oi! *whistles and calls over the G-Boys* C'mere, I want to have a talk with you all.

Boys: *much muttering, mumbling and other groaning*

Lady: Hush. There's two ways to do this. There's my way, and then there's the painful way.

Heero: Your way IS the painful way.

Other Boys: *snicker, 'cept Quatre who tries to hide it, sweet darlin' that he is* 

Lady: *not amused* Well looks like you don't have a choice then, do you? Alright. Due to the popularity of "Too Sexy For My Gundam"-

Wufei: DO NOT SPEAK OF SUCH INJUSTICES!

Duo: Aw, come ON! It was FUN!

Trowa: What's your definition of 'fun'?

Quatre: I dunno I guess it WAS kinda fun… EEP *shuts up as Heero, Trowa and Wufei GLARE at him*

Lady: Hey, no harassing the Kawaii King! As I was saying- Due to that fics popularity, I decided that it just wasn't fair to make you all share the song like that. I want you each to do solos.

Duo: You're breaking up the band?!?!

Heero: There never WAS a band, you baka, read the damn fic! The plot hasn't allowed it yet!

Lady: Screw the plot. We're gonna slowly but surely work our way through these in between the plot. Why? Cuz a bunch of people aren't reading past chp 1 and I'd really like to give them something more to see and cuz I lack inspiration… *cough* Parody is an art. It can't be rushed.

Trowa: *rolls eyes*

Lady: *fixes on him* I believe we have a volunteer.

Other Boys: *take one giant step back, leaving him alone in front*

Trowa: *swallows hard*

Lady: Damn straight. CUE THE KAROKE BAR!!!!

I'm Too Sexy

… Said Trowa

A Songfic by Lady Lye, evil little imp that she is.

Disclaimer: *muttering* What kind of a name is 'Right Said Fred' anyway? I may have been born in the 80's but that doesn't mean I have to like them. So the song ain't mine, k? I don't want any doped up has been one-hit-wonder rock stars coming out of their druggy plaid haze armed with lawyers out to sue my ass off, ok? It's a frigging JOKE. For ENTERTAINMENT, you know? Right, so get over it cuz-

I'm too sexy to be sued! Too Sexy to be sued!

So Sexy, and rude!

So :p crappy lawyer men.

Oh yeh and I also don't own the G-Boys. 

They're too sexy to be owned! Too sexy to be owned!

At least by the like of me-ee!

I'm an author, you know what I mean

And I write these lil fics in my free time.

In my free time, in my free time, yeah

And It's so not worth it just to sue me!

That it? Ok let's go then…

The setting? The Karoke Bar. Our favorite Karoke Bar. The one we all know and love-

Wufei: I don't!

*coughs* THE ONE WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE. *glares* Duo has, of course, dragged them all out here again-

Duo: No, I didn't! YOU did! *pouts* And I don't get to sing today which totally sucks!!

_Quiet, all of you! I'm trying to create atmosphere, here! _

Heero: IMP? You called yourself an IMP?

Quatre: *giggling furiously* very- er- CREATIVE disclaimer, Lady…

*growling* Oh to hell with it… You all know why they're here. Trowa's not- he has the luxury of being backstage.

Wufei: *muttering* lucky him…

Oh screw you all… I'm switching to my usual narrative…

Tis our favorite little karoke bar, filled to the brim with eager fans. Outside are posters proclaiming the night's entertainment. The stage has been empty for several minutes as the staff, directed by a fairly bossy young brunette with flashing blue eyes, work hard to prepare a show that will surely not disappoint. 

At a table close to the bar are four of the five gundam pilots, each both unhappy to be here and grateful that it is not his turn to perform. Course, there are other problems…

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" a girl glomped him from behind.

"GAH!" Heero fought her off and yanked his chair closer to Quatre, glaring in the direction of the fangirls. "So damn many of them…"

"Look on the bright side," Duo said, scrutinizing the drinks menu. "At least most of them are Trowa fans so it's not that likely that they'll come after us too much."

A girl screamed directly in Duo's ear. "OH MY GOD! IT'S ALL OF YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!" she latched onto Duo because he was closest. Heero smirked as his friend started to turn blue from lack of air. "OH MY GAWD! Quatre, can I have your autograph! And Wufei- Oh. My. God. You are soooooooooooooooooooooo good looking!"

Quatre quickly scribbled his name on a napkin and gave it to her. "Here you go, Miss," he said hurriedly, handing it to her.

"OH MY GOD! THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! OMG they'll never believe me!" and she bounded off to show it to her friends.

The boys let out a sigh of relief. "Not likely, hm?" Wufei glowered at Duo, who shrugged helplessly.

"My ribs hurt," he croaked.

The bossy little brunette strolled over, smiling at the crowd who waved happily at her but didn't bother her too much. "How you guys doing?"

The glared at her. "We hate you, Lady," Heero snarled.

"Aw," she pouted and cocked her head to the side like a curious child. "That's really not wise, you know. I'm the author and thus have control over what happens here. It could just as easily have been you."

"Um, Ms. Lye?" Quatre said tentatively.

Lady's face softened. He was SO kawaii! "Yes, Quat-kun?"

"How much longer do we have to wait here?"

"Not long. They've finished setting up so we should start any minute now. See you guys after the show!" she winked and left, skirting around fangirls, and a few boys, seated at tables throughout the bar. She chose the backmost table where one other girl sat. "Ready, Jennie-chan?"

"HAI!" she beamed.

"Then let's go…"

Backstage Trowa pulled his clown mask down over his face.

"Hey, you! Her Ladyship's getting impatient!"

The silent soldier stood and walked out into the dim spotlight…

_I'm too sexy for my gundam, too sexy for my gundam,_

Shootin' bullets at 'em

_ _

The lights came on full and the fangirls screamed. Trowa in his clown costume! Erm, seems some of them have a clown fetish… ^__^*

_I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt,_

So sexy it hurts

He ripped the ridiculous thing off, sending the fangirls into hysterics. It was going to be one of THOSE shows, was it?! Lady nearly choked on her soda and then started laughing. Of COURSE they hated it… SURE…

The four boys in the back slouched down as far as they could.

"You started this, Yuy," Wufei muttered angrily.

Heero glared back at him. "I UNBUTTONED my shirt, I didn't fling it into the crowd," he griped as Trowa did just that.

_I'm too sexy for Preventers, too sexy for Preventers,_

OZ and Sa~ank

In the back Lady perked up. "Ooh, speaking of Preventers-" she snapped her fingers and the ladies of GW popped into chairs around the table (*SIGH* even Whoreothy- I mean, Dorothy…). Catherine saw what was going on immediately. 

"OH MY GOD!"

_ _

_And I'm too sexy for the enemy, too sexy for the enemy,_

_No way! I'm out of bullets!_

"Baka," Wufei muttered angrily. "You're ALWAYS running out of bullets…"

_I'm a pilot, you know what I mean _

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk!_

_Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah_

_I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_ _

Trowa took the chance to reach out to the ecstatic crowd. Several nearly died when they- SHOCK! TOUCHED HIM!

_ _

_I'm too sexy for my bangs, too sexy for my bangs_

_Too sexy to hang_

_ _

_And I'm too sexy for my mask, too sexy for my mask,_

_'Too Sexy?' you ask_

He said, getting playful as he took it off in one smooth motion, handing it to one lucky girl in the crowd who screamed and nearly fainted.

I'm a pilot, you know what I mean

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk!_

Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah

_I shake my little tush on the catwalk!_

The poofy clown pants came off. Underneath were a pair of very nice looking black slacks.

I'm too sexy for my- 

He accepted a cotton dresshirt from a stagehand and slipped it on.

too sexy for my- The clown shoes came off and regular ones went on. too sexy for my-

_I'm a pilot, you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah_

_I shake my little tush on the catwalk!_

_ _

_I'm too sexy for the circus, too sexy for the circus,_

_Poor Cathy, poor sister Cathy_

"WHAT!?!?!" Catherine, who had been enjoying things immensely, stood angrily. "Too sexy for ME!?" she reached for a knife.

The other pilots, girls and Lady backed away immediately. 

"Cathy?" Lady pleaded. "It's a very crowded room, dear, and I know that you're very good at this but I don't think you're quite thinking straight-"

~THUNK.~

_I'm too sexy for HeavyArms, too sexy for Heavyarms,_

_No way it's self destructing!_

~THUNK.~

Trowa didn't even seem to notice the knives being expertly hurled in his ~THUNK~direction. He just kept moving, giving the others ~THUNK~ heartattacks as they came ever closer. 

~THUNK.~

And I'm too sexy for this fic!

He ~THUNK~ disappeared in a cloud of smoke and the crowd burst into applause. 

"Where is he!? Where'd that little doukeshi baka brother of mine go?!?!" Catherine hissed, looking around wildly, a knife at the ready.

"Um, Catherine?" Relena put a gentle hand on her arm. "Cathy, it's over, ok? No more song…"

"No- more?" 

"No more. Why don't you put the knife down now, huh? You're scaring the fangirls…"

"HOW COME HE'S NOT TOO SEXY FOR THE FANGIRLS, HUH!?!?"

"Eep," Lady beat a hasty retreat and headed for the boy's table. "Survive?"

They glared at her. "Don't you DARE think we're doing that," Heero snarled.

"But I've already booked the club for the next coupl'a weeks! We CAN'T back out on a reservation!"

They groaned and slid down even further in their seats.

"What's with you, D-man, I thought you liked this?"

"I do NOT want rabid fangirls throwing knives at me, ok?"

"That wasn't a rabid fangirl, that was Cathy you baka," Wufei grouched.

Trowa staggered out of the dressing room and started heading for their table. The crowd spotted him first. He was a goner. Crazed Trowa fans swarmed over tables and chairs to glomp, kiss and otherwise show their affection to the poor, harried pilot. 

The four boys paled, listening to the tortured cries of their comrade whom they had no help of helping.

Lady winced. "Remind me next time to do something about crowd control, yes? Anyways, thank you all you guys who read and review! It's been fun! Fear not- more Too Sexy is on the way!" she winked and gave the V-sign.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Duo said. They were all looking at her like she was crazy. Ooh, wait- she IS crazy.

"Eh heh… the readers… STOP LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY! R&R!"


	3. Gundam No. 5

I SO had to do this...   
  
________________________  
  
Operation: Double "B"  
  
A musically related songfic by Lady Lye  
  
________________________  
  
"Cos I'm a pilot, you know what I mean,  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk,  
Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah,  
I shake my little tush on the catwalk,"  
  
A guy in the back watched the performance, curious despite himself. Hm. These guys were good. He appraised the girls' reactions. They seemed very eager. That was always a good sign.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my- too sexy for my- too sexy for my-"  
  
Hm. He watched the crowd erupt into a frenzy as a fourth guy came to the front. Now he had what it took. That was obvious to anyone. The others had done extremely well also, but this guy had managed to push the crowd to that extra level.  
  
As the song approached its end, he stood. Somehow he had to talk to these guys. Find out if they were interested.   
  
When the five boys leapt up onto the catwalk, the guy was amazed. And pleased. They were athletic as well- that was excellent. He was one of the first people outside, making it out in time to watch them drive away. He noted the license plate before going back in. He went to the bar.  
  
"You know who they were?" he asked the bartender.  
  
"Nah, new guys. Seen the one with the braid hanging around outside a couple of times though. They're great for business, I hope they come back," the bartender said, working hard to fill all the new orders placed for drinks.  
  
"So no clue?"  
  
"Not a one, sorry, Cliff."  
  
"That's alright. Call me if they show up again."  
  
"Will do."  
  
________________________  
  
Next weekend…  
  
  
Somehow, the G-Boys found themselves back in the same place they had been last weekend. You guessed it- the Karoke Bar. Looks like they may be frequenting this place, so lets give it a name. Hard Heart KB.  
  
"I hate you, Maxwell," Wufei said angrily. This time he hid under a large detective-style 40's jacket.   
  
"Thanks for the jackets by the way, Quatre," Trowa said. They all had them and were being forced to wear them.  
  
"You're welcome," Quatre had resolved not to drink this time. It seemed he had a rather addictive personality. It was bad enough Duo had only promised to MAYBE not make Quatre go up if he bought the jackets and pretended they were a gift. Thank goodness it was raining tonight, so it wasn't too suspicious.  
  
"Mine's too… 1940's…" Heero complained, frowning down at it as though it were from some other planet.   
  
"Aw, come on," Duo said, messing with the collar of his to see what looked best. "I hear girls really like this look."  
  
"You have such a one-track mind…"  
  
"You're pathetic…"  
  
"I will find a way to repay you for last week… Your death come to mind."  
  
"This is injustice, Maxwell!"  
  
"Hey," The bartender called to them. "You the same guys that were here last week?"  
  
"NO!" Four fifths of the table shouted.  
  
"Yes!" Duo said cheerfully.  
  
"Hey, you guys are great for business. Things have picked up a lot lately."  
  
"Great… now we're helping to promote this asinine activity…" Heero muttered.  
  
"Look! The mic's free!" Duo bounded onstage. (AN: I'm running out of ways to describe Duo… I wonder if I can make up words like 'Duo-nine…')  
  
"Oh, no…" Quatre moaned. "Please don't pull us up there… please don't pull us up there…"  
  
"Hey! It's one of the Too Sexy guys!" Someone female in the audience called out.  
  
"Yes it is!" Duo proclaimed proudly.  
  
The other pilots slid down in their seats a little, pulling up those handy collars on their jackets.  
  
"I thought there were more of you," someone else said.  
  
"There are- but they're a little shy," Duo grinned in the direction of the table. Most of it was sending out death glares. "C'mon, let's get them up here!" the room started to applaud.  
  
"Omea o korosu…" Heero muttered as the pilots stood uncomfortably.   
  
"We'll help," the other three seconded.   
  
Duo grinned at them as they came on stage. They immediately regretted not knocking back something really strong before getting up here. "Ladies and gentleman, the Gundam People!  
  
pilot, there's no need to feel down.  
I said, pilot, pick yourself off the ground.  
I said, pilot, 'cause you're in a new town   
there's no need to be unhappy."  
  
The other pilots stared at him in absolute horror.   
  
"Duo! Omea o korosu!" Heero hissed.  
  
"Maxwell you moron!" Wufei hit him over the head just as Duo was about to start the Y-M-C-A part.   
  
"What?" Duo complained, rubbing his head.  
  
"Do you know what that organization had an underground reputation for?" Trowa said relatively calmly.  
  
"No…"  
  
"A place for gay men to gather and do what they couldn't in public!" Heero was glaring at him.   
  
Poor little Quatre, who also hadn't known, looked slightly scandalized.  
  
"And we're not gay. So pick another song, Maxwell," Wufei gave him a shove at the guys running things.  
  
Duo had changed colors to a very nice red and quickly did so.  
  
AN: I am not trying to bash the possibility that they might be gay. If they are, I'm ok with that… mostly… I won't get Duo or Heero if they are! *sniffle* However, I do believe that it is completely possible to go through the sort of trauma they did without wanting to f*** each other at the end. So shoo, this is my story and I can write it however I want to. I do absolutely read fics where they're gay, and love the well-written ones, but I don't like writing my own stories like that. It's a JOKE. I thought it would be FUNNY. I APOLOGIZE to anyone easily offended. Let's continue.   
  
Duo was just a teensy bit less eager when he came back up to the mic this time. "They say we have to get down and wait our turn again."  
  
"Aw, DARN," was the collective response. They hurried off the stage and into the darkest corner of the place that they could find.   
  
Upon sitting down, a thought hit Heero. "Wait, why are we staying?"  
  
"Because this isn't real life, it's a story, and we're being controlled by a force greater than ourselves known as an author," Trowa said calmly, not bothered by this at all.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
In Lady's room where her computer is and she is typing this…  
  
Heero: LADY!!!!  
  
Lady (the author): OW! Not so loud Heero…   
  
Heero: WHY are you making us do this?  
  
Lady: Because people really liked the first one, Mr. I'm-too-sexy-for-my-stalker. I'm gonna make it a series. Now go sit down and be glad I let you back here at all.   
  
Heero: I'll get you for this.  
  
Lady: Wufei's been trying to get me for a while now, too. It hasn't happened yet. Good luck to you. Not. NOW GO SING! (boots him out)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Heero? Heero?" Quatre was giving him an odd look.  
  
"Huh? Oh, I just spaced out a little…" he said, then muttered darkly about stupid fanfiction authors and how he would kill them first chance he got. An invisible hand smacked him upside the hand and he stopped.  
  
"So what ARE we going to sing?" Trowa said bravely.  
  
"Um, I don't know…" Duo was slumped in his seat. "That was the only song I could think of."  
  
"Oh, gee, we better go then," Quatre stood quickly.   
  
"Not so fast, Q-man," Duo had just had a sudden brainwave. (rare, I know…) "This is gonna be SO good!"  
  
"Uh oh…" they all looked at him fearfully.  
  
Duo cackled, not about to let this chance go by. "The God of Death will rule again!"  
  
"Not if I can kill you first," Heero muttered. He wondered again why he wasn't proceeding to do just that. Another invisible hand tapped him on the shoulder and he looked around frantically for the source.  
  
"You ok, Heero?" Quatre asked again.  
  
"Yeh, fine…"  
  
They all looked up as the crowd started to chanting 'Too sexy! Too sexy! Too sexy!'   
  
Quatre blushed.  
  
Trowa hid behind his bangs.  
  
"So that's why you wear those…" Duo wondered aloud. Trowa managed to glare at him from behind them.  
  
Heero and Wufei GLARED at Duo.  
  
"Well we can't exactly ignore a command performance, now can we?" Duo said, grinning at them. The grudgingly followed him onstage. "Thank you, thank you!! Note! New format!! Other than that," Duo looked around at the others before cueing in music.  
Duo:  
Ladies and gentlemen  
This is Gundam No.5  
  
Heero:  
One,   
Duo:   
two,   
Trowa:  
three,   
Quatre:  
four,   
Wufei:  
Five  
Heero:  
You know the pilots' in the house, so come on  
Duo:  
Let's jive, these sexy men right on your corner, babe,  
The boys say they want some gin and juice  
But you really don't wanna (looks pointedly at Quatre, who blushes. Addictive tendencies, 'member?)  
  
Beerbust like you did last week  
I must stay deep  
Because talk is cheap  
Trowa:  
I fear Catherine,   
All:  
Dorothy!, Hilde, Lucrezia (AN: I don't hate you Noin!! You're really cool! I'm sorry- yours is the only one that rhymes!!!)  
And as we continue you know  
They are getting meaner (AN: Not really, Noin!)  
  
Duo:  
So what can I do I really beg and you my Lord  
To me flirting it's just like sport, anything fly  
It's all good let me dump it  
Please set in the-   
Quatre:  
-crumpet! (all stare at him briefly before continuing… Quatre blushes again)  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Isabel in my life  
Heero:  
A little bit of Andria by my side (stops singing) Hey! this song is dangerous to my health!!  
Quatre:  
A little bit of Estelle is all I need  
  
Trowa:  
A little bit of Raisa is what I see  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Sally in the sun -wait! (stops singing) O shit. I'm in trouble… LADY!  
Duo: (dreamily)  
  
A little bit of Kyla all night long  
Heero:   
A little bit of Relena here I am -you thought YOU were in trouble, Wufei?  
All:  
A little bit of you makes me your man  
  
Gundam No.5  
Quatre: Hey, that's you, Wufei!  
  
Wufei:  
Slash up and down go and move it all around  
Swing your sword to the sound  
Put your hand on the ground  
Take one swipe left  
And one swipe right  
One to the front and one to the side  
Kill Duo once  
Duo:   
HEY!  
Heero:  
And kill Lady twice (AN: HEY!!!!! WTF!?)  
And if it looks like this  
Then you are doing it right  
  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Isabel in my life -DO YOU MIND!? She's not as weak as other women! She'll get me for this! (all stare at him briefly)  
Heero:  
A little bit of Andria by my side -I'm gonna be in so much pain tomorrow…  
Quatre: (happily)  
A little bit of Estelle is all I need  
  
Trowa:  
A little bit of Raisa is what I see  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Sally in the sun -Who the hell write these things?  
Duo: (dreamily)  
A little bit of Kyla all night long  
Heero:   
A little bit of Relena here I am -must find Lady! Must kill!  
All:  
A little bit of you makes me your man  
  
Duo:  
Trumpet  
  
Quatre: (insistently)  
The CRUMPET.  
Heero: (he's starting to get the 'I am Nick Carter, Ricky Martin, and Frank Sinatra at the heights of their careers all rolled into one' look)  
Gundam No.5  
  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Isabel in my life -DIE, LADY LYE!  
Heero:  
A little bit of Andria by my side -OMEA O KOROSU, LADY!  
(AN: Hey! When did this turn into a Lady-bashing fic!? Damn ability to laugh at myself…)  
Quatre: (happily)  
A little bit of Estelle is all I need  
  
Trowa:  
A little bit of Raisa is what I see  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Sally in the sun -Wait that might be nice…  
Duo: (dreamily)  
A little bit of Kyla all night long  
Heero:   
A little bit of Relena here I am -WHERE IS MY GUN?!  
All:  
A little bit of you makes me your man  
  
Heero: (my little starlet… HEEHEE… He does that reaching out to the frantic crowd thing… they manage to go even wilder than they were…)  
I do all  
To fall in love with a girl like you  
You can't run and you can't hide  
You and me gonna touch the sky  
  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Isabel in my life -Stop that Yuy. It's nauseating.  
Heero:  
A little bit of Andria by my side -You're just jealous. (sticks out tongue) They love me.  
Quatre: (happily)  
A little bit of Estelle is all I need  
  
Trowa:  
A little bit of Raisa is what I see  
Wufei:  
A little bit of Sally in the sun -I am not. This song is all ABOUT me! Gundam Pilot 05!!  
Duo: (crudely)  
A little bit of Kyla ALL NIGHT LONG- Yeah baby! (a mysterious force smacks him upside the head. He searches frantically for the source as the song continues… *GRIN*)  
Heero:   
A little bit of Relena here I am -Wait! It's almost over!!  
All:  
A little bit of you makes me your man  
End song.  
  
The crowd went wild, yet again. They blushed and bowed. The crowd appeared to be screaming intelligible things this time…  
  
Baby Snow Angel: g-boys singing in hot outfits!!   
  
Jennie-Chan a.k.a. ~J.C.~: OMG!!! *sighs then passes out from combination of drooling and laughter…..*  
  
Lily: This is YUMMIE!!!!!  
  
Tressa: *drool* Oh my gosh. That was the best!  
  
Silver: *giggle, giggle* Who knew that He-chan could work up a crowd like that sexy gundam pilots  
  
The_amateur: that was disgusting  
  
Ly the werewolf: Ah! *drool* Sexy GW boys….  
  
Lady Maxwell: I think that Duo is the SEXIEST!!!! Whoo HOO!!  
  
Christian: loved it  
  
Lizzy: Tee-Hee...Duo is too sexy for his braid, and his Gundam...**Smiles** There all so cute!!  
  
The boys STARE at the crowd, only a TEENSIE bit freaked out.  
  
"That did NOT just happen," Heero said.  
  
"Yeah! I AM sexy!!" Duo cried happily.  
  
"Aren't those comments for our last song…?" Quatre asked timidly, if perceptively.  
  
"Uh, guys?" Trowa backed up a step. "The platforms shaking again!!"  
  
Lady Lye popped up out of nowhere. "Get your asses over here. NOW. You, you, and ESPECIALLY you," she points at Wufei, Duo and Heero. "I'm gonna kick your asses when we get home."  
  
"What'd I do?" Duo cried.  
  
"YOU got all 'happy' thinking about Kyla inappropriately," Lady glared at him. "Now come on, there's someone you have to meet." She snapped her fingers and they found themselves outside on the sidewalk. They looked up to see a guy approaching them.  
  
"So you're the guys who've put this bar on the map after only one song?"   
  
________________________  
  
Lady: rotten pilots… I'll get them for that… *sees readers* Oh, hi! Yeah, um, I decided to include some comments since I LOVE getting these reviews! (*drool*!!) If your review wasn't used, I'm VERY sorry! I only included ones that I could easily clip to fit as crowd-comments, if you know what I mean. It's not that I don't love you and appreciate your reviews!! Actually, I ask you all to include any special comments you might want used! Song requests are also MORE than welcome!!!  
  
Copyright crap... Um, I don't care. They also called Lou Bega a one-hit wonder of VH1 so, uh, let's not care and say we do, eh?  
  
Love it? Hate it? Is it crap? SPEAK TO ME, CRETIN!!!  
  
-Lady ^.~ (blows kisses)  
  



	4. 

*sniffles* Stupid plot lines… why the hell did I have to introduce a plot? Oh right… the comedy of it all… Hmph. Anyway- sadly I will NOT be using Lady Serena's awesome suggestion just yet (not telling just what that was yet…) I promise it'll be in the next chapter. 'stead, I'll be using a suggestion by Jennie-chan. *smiles at Jennie-chan, who gives her the thumbs up from under one of the tables in the Karoke Bar* You're welcome to stay J-chan. You're guest of honor today.   
  
Heero: Omea o korosu, Jennie-chan.  
  
Jennie-chan: heh- sorry Heero, you can't kill me! I'M AN AUTHORESS, TOO! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!   
  
Heero: ...damn!  
  
Lady: Actual insert from review. *grins* I LOVE being the author… otherwise I would probably be in traction now. *looks down at her dislocated knee* hmmmm… it appears they DID find a way to extract their revenge… *shrugs* It'll come back to haunt them ten-fold. Anyways, on we go. Thank you again, Jennie!  
  
One more thing: I HATE *nsync. I hate them with a passion. I think it's the whole Justin Timberlake thing. I REALLY hate him. If I bash them in the course of this fic, please don't be offended. It's just my opinion. I'm entitled to it as you are to yours. *GLARES at CD player where 'No Strings Attatched' has been going for the last hour or so while she writes* it's almost over, Lady. Almost over… then you can throw it into the Abyss again…  
  
________________________________________  
  
Space Cowboy  
  
A deranged songfic by Lady Lye   
  
Disclaimer: Any threats on *Nsync's lives are to be ignored. I don't REALLY want to kill them. That's Heero job. *she exchanges malicious grins with Heero* O yeh, I don't own most of the stuff in here. If you try to sue me, I'll take out my anti-*Nsync rage on you. 'Nuff said.  
  
________________________________________  
  
Where we last left off:  
  
The boys had finished their little performance of Gundam No. 5 (my apologies, it sucked, I know… I wasn't really up to writing it… I just wanted to show that I was indeed planning to continue…) and having taken the opportunity to threaten the author- Lady was VERY pissed at them. She threw them out onto the street so that the story and plot could continue, leaving her out of it, as it should be.  
  
"So you're the guys who've put this bar on the map after only one song?"  
  
The boys looked up at the figure from their heap on the dirty sidewalk. He was of average height, wearing a jacket that looked fairly expensive and his hair was neatly groomed. They quickly untangled themselves and stood, trying to regain their composure.  
  
"May we help you?" Quatre tried to ask politely.  
  
"I'm Cliff Hangar," the guy said, pulling out a business card.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me…" Duo muttered skeptically. (AN: It just came to me… I realized I'd named him Cliff and it just came to me…Behold the power of Cheesiness.)  
  
"My parents had a sense of humor," Cliff glared at him. A slight chill ran up the boys' backs… (AN: I'm watching you, boys…) Cliff coughed. "As I was saying, I'm a talent scout. I think you boys may have something here."  
  
"Sorry pal, but you're out of luck," Heero gave him his usual penetrating stare.   
  
"I don't get it," Quatre said, looking at Trowa who shook his head to show that he also didn't get it.  
  
"What I'm proposing," Cliff said, "Is for a revival of a very old and very successful fad- the Boy Band."  
  
Wufei's eyes bugged out. "BOY BANDS ARE WEAK! I WILL NOT BE PART OF IT!"  
  
"I agree," Heero said. "We don't have time to waste on-"  
  
Duo had been thinking this over. Fame… Screaming fans… A shot at a hit record… Girls… Fame… Didn't girls tend to take their shirts off at concerts? "We'll do it! Sign us up!"  
  
"Duo!" they exclaimed.  
  
"Great," Cliff said, giving his card to Duo. "I'll see you all at this address tomorrow at two for a trial run. If it goes well, we'll do lunch, yes?" he walked off towards his car around the corner.  
  
"Maxwell…" Wufei growled through gritted teeth.  
  
"Hey, come on! It'll be fun!" Duo said, putting a friendly arm around Heero's and Quatre's shoulders. "Who knows- maybe we'll end up on MTV!"  
  
________________________________________  
  
The next afternoon, Duo had to practically drag them all to the place Cliff had told them to meet him. He had had to confiscate all weaponry and other types of firearms and it was not a happy crew that entered the building. The receptionist gave them funny looks, but sent them upstairs to meet Cliff.  
  
"Yo, Crag!" Duo called as they entered Cliff's office.  
  
Cliff winced a little. "It's CLIFF. Not crag."  
  
"He knows that," Heero told him. "He thinks it's fun. Try to ignore him and maybe he'll shut up."  
  
"Course if we leave then you won't have to listen to Maxwell anymore," Wufei said hopefully.  
  
"Right…" Cliff could see this was going to be a LONG screening session… "Alright, I need you all to fill out these forms. When you're done I'll take you into wardrobe and then-"  
  
"You want us to sing again?" Trowa asked, wide-eyed. Cliff had already left.  
  
"Omea o korosu, Duo," Heero snarled.  
  
"Aw, just do what Precipice said," Duo said jauntily and took a seat.   
  
They reluctantly followed his example. All was not silent however.  
  
"What sign am I?" Quatre blinked at the sheet.   
  
"Mine's 'No Parking'," Heero said in his typical monotone.  
  
Duo sweatdropped a little, unsure if that was a joke or not. "They mean Zodiac sign. Course that's sorta hard considering the whole not knowing when most of us were born…"  
  
"Marital status?" Trowa said in surprise.  
  
"Widow," Wufei said, checking it off.  
  
"Favorite color?" Heero frowned at the form. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"  
  
"Favorite animal? Favorite Ice cream? Favorite clothing brand- what are these?" Quatre looked through the small packet, completely surprised.  
  
"Ah, I see…" Duo nodded in understanding. "It's for the fangirls."  
  
"Pardon?" they blinked at him.   
  
"Well, when girls fall in love with a band, they want to know everything about them. That's what these questions are. Ooh- my favorite underwear… boxers or briefs… boxers or briefs…" he tapped the pen against his knee, unsure what to write.  
  
"This is stupid," Heero said. "I'm not doing this-"  
  
"Heero, you have to! C'mon and lighten up!" Duo protested. "You agreed to come this far- you can't back out now!"  
  
"Actually none of us agreed to anything," Trowa said judiciously.  
  
"Everybody done?" Cliff came back in. "Great. This way," he lead them to Wardrobe.  
  
________________________________________  
  
While the boys changed, Cliff talked to his executive producer over the vid-phone or whatever the hell you call those things…   
  
"So which one's which?"  
  
"I'm faxing you a list now."  
  
"Great," Cliff grabbed it from the printer and looked it over. Great. Thanks Eyl."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
He went to meet the boys as they emerged, fully costumed. "Hey, you guys look great." He shmoozed.  
  
All but Duo glared at him. They had been thrust into cowboy outfits- and very skimpy ones at that. Duo, Heero and Quatre got hats. They all wore leather vests- no shirts- (AN: MEGA *drool* MEGA *grin*), and most of them looked very uncomfortable about this, especially Quatre. Each got a metal holster that Heero has been disappointed to find had no real guns or bullets in it. Their chaps were also leather and had the appropriate fringe along the outside of the legs. Each had also been given a bandana but they were still fixing those as they wanted them.  
  
Duo tied his around his neck triumphantly and cocked his hat, giving a silly grin. "Howdy, pardner."  
  
Quatre neatly folded his and stuck it in the pocket of his vest, like a gentleman. He then closed the vest as best he could to hide his bare chest.  
  
Trowa frowned at the bandana before twisting his into a rope, unlike Duo's, which was folded in half in a triangle with only the two ends tied, and tying it around his neck that way. He waited for orders.  
  
Wufei and Heero has both tied theirs the same way Duo had- but looked like bandits with the bandana's half covering their faces.  
  
"Uh, nice idea- but that's really not great for performing," Cliff said to the two stony-faced soldiers.  
  
"Hn," was the only response.  
  
"Yeah, c'mon- no one will be able to hear you sing-" Duo yanked them both down around their necks.  
  
"Baka," Heero GLARED at him.  
  
"That was the POINT, Maxwell," Wufei growled. "Also so that we wouldn't be recognized!"  
  
"Ooh, picture op!" Cliff cried, summoning over a camera guy, who took pictures of the mostly bewildered former pilots. "Or not. Let's get you your music and then onstage-"  
  
________________________________________  
  
"Why did we let you talk us into this?" Sally sighed.  
  
Hilde and Catherine smiled at her and Relena beyond her. (AN: No Dorothy. Dorothy is evil. Dorothy will not appear here. 'Nuff said.) The ladies were sitting in the very small auditorium in the very same building our story is taking place. It was filled with both people asked to come and those, like themselves, who had just decided to show up. The stage in front was decked out like a real concert's would be and for now, it was empty.  
  
"We thought it would be a fun girl's afternoon out," Catherine said.  
  
"I hear they get some really kawaii guys in here," Hilde seconded. "And since Duo and the other guys took off, what else do we have to do?"  
  
Relena rolled her eyes and glared at Hilde. "I wish they'd told us where they were going."  
  
"Hmph. As if they would," Sally harrumphed.   
  
"Ooh- it's starting!"  
  
Cliff walked onstage and stood behind the microphone in front. "Welcome everyone. Thank you all for attending this week's screening session. Your input is very valuable to us, and so I ask you to turn to the screen on the back of the chair in front of you." All the screens switched on with the bios of all the groups performing today available on it's menu. "We ask that you take the next few minutes to review the information before you and become familiar with the system. As each act performs, any comments you may have will be more than welcome, and in fact, mandatory. (AN: *sigh* why can't reviewing be like that… *grin*) Enjoy the performance," he walked offstage.  
  
"Hmmm… Act 1's got a cutie in it…" Hilde browsed through the options on the screen.  
  
Relena did so as well and nearly chocked. "Heero! Oh my god! Duo! Quatre! Trowa! Wufei!"  
  
"WHERE?!" all the girls stared at her screen.  
  
"They're performing!!" they looked at the group shot of all the boys in their cowboy outfits in shock.   
  
"I TOLD you they got kawaii guys in here!" Hilde said proudly.   
  
"Oh wow…" Relena scrolled down.  
  
"Those outfits are HOT," Sally couldn't seem to keep her jaw up.  
  
"Look- they assigned them nicknames-" Catherine pointed.  
  
~~~  
Name: Trowa Barton  
The "Older Brother"  
~~~  
Name: Chang Wufei  
The "Rebel"  
~~~  
Name: Quatre Winner  
The "Lovable Shy One"  
~~~  
Name: Duo Maxwell  
The "Cute One"  
~~~  
Name: Heero Yuy  
The "Hunky Leader"  
~~~  
  
"Well they sure got Quatre down," Relena said.  
  
"Trowa too," Catherine agreed. "Even though technically I'm older…"  
  
"Since when is Duo the 'cute' one?" Hilde demanded. "Why haven't I seen this 'cute'ness? Hmm? Does it just suddenly disappear when I enter the room?"  
  
"You can make comments about that," Sally pointed out.  
  
Hilde typed in Duo Maxwell: The Obnoxiously Stupid and Goofy But Loveable One". They all snickered.  
  
"Damn, they're the third group. We'll have to wait," Relena pouted.  
  
"Did you just swear?" the others blinked at her.  
  
"YES, I swear," Relena said defensively. "Just because I'm a pacifist it doesn't mean I don't get angry! What!? Stop looking at me like that!"  
  
________________________________________  
  
Backstage, the boys anxiously awaited their turn. 'Anxious', of course, is used rather loosely. Wufei and Heero were trying to come up with the worst way to kill Duo. Trowa was leafing through a magazine. Quatre was biting his nails he was so nervous. Duo was watching the other acts.  
  
"Ah, we're a zillion times better than they are," he said. "No contest. You guys ready? We're up next." He turned to them, saw their reactions and sweatdropped. "That's the spirit, eh heh…"  
  
The little red light went on as the song ended. The group onstage exited to Stage Left. The boys were on Stage Right.  
  
"It's Showtime!" Duo bounded out, followed much more slowly by the others.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, Group #3," a mechanized voice intoned for the audience. Like they couldn't tell.  
  
"WHOOO!" Hilde cheered and the four girls clapped enthusiastically.  
  
The boys arranged themselves on the darkened stage, beginning to get the hang of this.   
  
Trowa:   
Sandrock, TB  
Come in over  
Yo, turn me up  
I wanna be heard  
See, I'm talking bout the future y'all  
And the future looks bright  
'specially when we rip in half  
  
They came forward in a blaze of sparks from the equipment. The girls in front immediately decided that they liked this group…  
  
Heero:  
Here it comes, revolution  
And we've come a long way to frikkin kick some-  
Is this the beginning or beginning of the end?  
Well, I've got other thoughts, my friend  
  
Duo:  
See, I've got my eyes on the skies  
No fear to leave me paralyzed  
If you're in the mood to start a fight  
Then strap on a suit and get inside  
  
Hilde, Relena, Sally and Catherine stared in absolute shock as the boys continued to move through the chorus. As they turned around, the girl's jaws in the floor. Those were some MIGHTY big holes in those chaps!!  
  
All:  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo  
  
Sally started to laugh. "Gundam Asses! I love it!"  
  
"No way!" Relena exclaimed. Ooh, her Heero's butt was SO cute…  
  
Hilde let out another woop of joy and fished in her pocket for a ten. "Duo! I love yooooou!! Whoo!"  
  
"Stop that!" Relena pulled her back into her seat. Course, those girls in front seemed to have the same idea as Hilde.  
  
Catherine was laughing her head off. She quickly pulled out a camera and started snapping. "Since we don't have any pictures of Trowa naked as a baby- these will have to do!"  
  
"Make us copies!"  
  
Wufei:  
We don't need all these politicians  
Telling us who we're gonna fight (gonna fight)  
Cause paranoia ain't the way to live your life from day to day  
So leave your doubts and your fears behind  
  
Quatre:  
Don't be afraid at all  
Cause up in outer space there's no gravity to fall  
Put your mind and your body to the test  
Cuz up in outer space it's like the wild, wild west  
  
The girl's jaws dropped again. The girls in front started screaming their heads off, much to the discomfort of the guys stuck up there with them. Had- had- had Quatre just made a suggestive movement?!?!  
  
All:  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo  
  
(rap)  
Heero:  
Boom! And never let you try to stop me  
Born to fight sky high up to the top see  
Nothing to fear, no doubts and no tears  
  
Trowa:  
Revolution sound to motivate the future years  
And you can either be scared or prepared  
Against all odds I bet you never would've dared  
  
Duo:  
To make these moves and take flight like me  
To come through for the world, just like me  
Space connect to overthrow your interception  
Ready or not, make it hot  
  
Wufei:  
That ain't no question  
Get your gun and put your eye to the fun  
  
Quatre:  
Keep the dream  
One love from Q-kun  
  
He winked at the screaming crowd. Heero was looking a little pissed. HE was the star around here…  
  
The four in the back instantly changed their minds as to just which pilot was best. Ooh, Quatre… SEXY little Quatre…  
  
(regular)  
All:  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride  
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby  
  
If you wanna fight  
Come and take a ride  
Take a space ride with a cowboy  
  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay  
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo  
  
The sight of those nice, tight, exposed little asses on that last chorus sent the crowd up front into hysteria. They swarmed at the foot of the stage, reaching out for the pilots.  
  
Hilde leapt over the seats to join them, waving her money, as more than a few other people seemed to be doing.  
  
Sally was nearly in collapse. "I'm gonna bust Wufei for this SO much…"  
  
Relena had found herself a new quandary. "Heero's got penetrating eyes… but Quatre's got those sweet blue ones that tell you everything… and he's got that angelic face and that golden hair… but Heero's hair is so wild and untamed… and Quatre's unattached while Heero's always pushing me away… hmm…" she wondered outloud.  
  
"Don't even think about it!" Catherine told her, clutching the precious film to her chest. "Quatre's MINE now."  
  
"I sure hope you got some great ass shots," Relena threatened.  
  
Catherine grinned. "How many sets should I put you down for?"  
  
On stage, the boys took their bows and quickly exited, not wanting to test the invisible ropes holding the crowd back. They'd had WAY too much experience with that.   
  
As they left, Duo caught sight of a certain navy-haired figure joining the throng. "HILDE?!?! KUSO!" He beat his head against the wall as soon as they were offstage. "Kuso- Kuso- Kuso- Kuso- Kuso!"  
  
"What's wrong, Duo?" Trowa asked.  
  
"Hilde was out there!" he continued to bang his head. "Crap crap crap crap crap!"  
  
Quatre still seemed a tad high on adrenaline and the thrill that he had gotten from the crowd.  
  
Heero sustained a glare at him. HE was the cool one… it somehow turned into a pout.  
  
Wufei looked rather full of himself.  
  
"That was great!" Cliff came backstage to greet them. "Absolutely terrific! Did you see what you did to that crowd? Wow- baby- I don't think that's happened since Frank Sinatra! We're just gonna get you guys cleaned up and then I think we have some contracts to discuss."  
  
They all looked from Cliff to each other. "Contracts?"  
  
________________________________________  
  
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I've seen those chaps before… Can't remember where, but they just seemed SO appropriate… In case my explanation sucked somehow- the chaps have big holes right over each butt cheek exposing that fine, fine flesh. *grin/drool*   
  
OK. *Nsync is hereby semi-tolerable. Damn now I have this stuck in my head… Anyway, thanks Jennie-chan! *beams at J.C. underneath the table* All suggestions are welcome!   
  
In case you noticed, I didn't have to doctor too much- the feel of the song's pretty appropriate, no? Hmmm… what am I forgetting? Oh yes! Disclaimers and Copyrights! Erm, I dislike *Nsync… and I love GW… but I don't own either. I don't pretend to. But seeing as it's *NSTYNC (oops, did that slip?) we'll say that we care cause they're rich with legions of screaming fangirls behind them and probably a dozen lawyers ready to kick my ass for threatening Justin Timberlake. (Or threatening to threaten him more like it… I never actually did… Damn plot…)  
  
End note getting long SO-  
  
Love it? Hate it? Think I should roast in hell for marring the so-called good name of *Nstync? (oops… DAMN my typing }:) Not.) Think that all is forgiven cuz I put the GW boys in leather vests and chaps that showed their beyond kawaii asses? GIVE ME FRIKKIN FEEDBACK!  
  
-Lady *grin- starts thinking of pilots in chaps and vests and starts drooling…* 


End file.
